The Possibilities of Uncomfortability

 

“If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. Without difficult in life, there can be no evolution in consciousness.” Eckhart Tolle

It is our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We reject uncomfortability as an unwelcomed interruption in our life. We ignore it, or we search for quick-fix solutions to get rid of it. We resist it, resent it, get angry, and sad. We say, “There is something wrong, and it shouldn’t be happening to me.” The way we respond to uncomfortability depends on the level of awareness we are functioning. Awareness brings choices. When coming from the first two levels, we have little emotional regulation and lots of chattering interfering with the voice of wisdom. By shifting into the last two levels, we have more emotional wellness, and we look for the lesson and the possibilities. In Lesson Two, you can review, Identifying the Four Levels of Awareness.

From higher levels of awareness, we can find an authentic sense of self after enduring a period of suffering. It can be excruciating, but sometimes it is needed to help us awaken to deeper levels of awareness. Eckhart Tolle and others tell us conversion rarely happens while someone is in their comfort zone. The place where the evolutionary shift happens is usually after having an experience of uncomfortability of suffering. Suffering can help make room by clearing out the comfortable routines of living and thinking. It shakes us out of our reliance on conventional rules and thinking.

 There is no guarantee that uncomfortability will bring about awakening or a deeper understanding. But there is always the chance. For those who are ready, the possibility exists to live more consciously. With time and more practice, we can experience a shift to live more fully. As we grow in awareness, we learn how to let go of suffering. In Lesson Two, we know how to cope emotionally through acceptance without judgment. In Lesson Four, we learn how to break the habit of negative thinking and the habit of worrying. So much of our suffering comes from believing the chattering mind instead of living in growing awareness and body presence.

Example of how Uncomfortability Can Lead to New Awareness

I was drowning in a sea of self-doubt. I told myself there are so many self-help books about mindfulness already. Is there even room for one more? Maybe I should give up entirely with this book idea. It didn’t seem like I had anything to contribute. I took a break from writing, continued my daily mindfulness practices, and allowed the experience of uncomfortability.

I shared my concern in my writers’ group. A member told me there might be several mindfulness books, but not one from my unique experience and knowledge. She told me I did have something to contribute. The next day on my way home from grocery shopping, I saw a tortoise making her way onto the busy road I was traveling. I stopped my car, put on my flashers, and got out to be she was able to cross safely. A day later, on a morning walk with my dogs, I saw a Black Racer Snake. Black Racer Snakes are not poisonous. It was in the tall grass next to the road; its movement caught my eye. My friend Lola taught me how to interpret what she called animal medicine. When an animal crosses your path, you can begin to listen through your intuition for a message.

I sat in the silence of contemplation. “I am open to your message, for I know it is a message for my higher good.” I asked, “What are you trying to tell me?” The first thing that came to me was how I received the message from three sources. I always believed in the power and magic of three. I realized both the animal messengers live close to Mother Earth, grounded in her power. Tortoise is a special messenger because my friend, Lola taught me about the Turtle Medicine of her Oneida Nation. Tortoise reminds me of virtues I often find difficult, patience, persistence, and steadiness. She also speaks to longevity, telling me to continue my path to finding my unique message. The snake sheds her skin and reminds me of transformation and rebirth. The desire to create something, do something is the desire for change and growth, shed old skins and grow something new. The third message from my writers’ group gave me the self-confidence I lost. I started to write again. This time with a new focus.

As I took these messages to heart, I realized the book needed a change. My unique contribution to mindfulness teachings is my age and the wisdom and experience of aging with mindfulness. Thus, a new title and a new focus. It is a lesson of aging and allowing what is and letting go of what used to be when confronting the changes, we face as we grow older. Yes, there are many books on mindfulness; my unique experience, passion, and talents are worth sharing. The time spent in uncomfortability provided the space for me to create a new direction for my book, focusing on living life on purpose as we age.

Uncomfortability Makes Us Real.

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt?’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.’ “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who must be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. Margery Williams—The Velveteen Rabbit, 1922.

Activities that help when you are experiencing uncomfortability.

·         Self-compassion reminds me of how times like this happen to everyone. We all have uncomfortable times. (Mindfulness Self-Compassion is a topic from Lesson Two)

·         How have times of uncomfortability helped you to be real?

·         Review Defining Four Levels of Awareness topic. Level four leads you to find the lesson of an event.

·         Replace the critic’s negative talking with the compassionate witness stance. When you catch yourself in a negative story, stop and remember how uncomfortability can give us new possibilities.

·         Continue your mindfulness daily routine to keep the faith.

·         Remember, everything is temporary. This too will pass.