Pain is Inevitable, suffering is optional

 Mindfulness and Pain Management

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” –Haruki Murakami

Because mindfulness is awareness without judgment, we can use it to focus on our mind and body when we are experiencing pain sensations. Because words have power, it is suggested we do not use the word pain to describe difficult body sensations. Statements like, “This pain will never go away, or this hip is ruining my life, or I can’t cope with this pain any longer,” are stories that can amplify the pain. When can replace them with “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional,” a phrase Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education at MARC uses. She has many free mindfulness-guided meditations online if you Google her name. The Buddhist tradition teaches pain is inevitable for everybody alive. We have choices in how we deal with pain. Dealing with chronic pain through mindfulness has been the focus of Jon-Kabat Zinn. He also has many books you can find online.

Our body is incredibly resilient and can adapt to difficult sensations. We may not like them, but we can adapt when we realize our body asks us to pay attention. Because we often ignore these signals to take care of ourselves, our body must get louder in its cry for help. A common mistake many of us make is to hold our breath or tighten and hold on to pain. While focusing on pain seems totally counterintuitive, mindfulness teaches us what we focus on often changes, and by breathing into the pain and paying attention to it, it will change. I will share directions for two ways of managing pain. One is from Diana Winston and the other, is from Tim Desmond.

Diana Winston

You can find this exercise for working with pain online. It is about 20 minutes long. The steps are as follows:

1.     Grounding – feet on the ground, arms relaxed on your lap or beside you, eyes closed or looking downwards, take a few breaths to relax your body. Notice I don’t say deep breaths; deep breathing can make you feel dizzy or light-headed and is not helpful.

2.     Body scan – explore your body with your attention, noting as you progress from your head to your toes any points of tightness, tingling, or other sensation.  Pay attention without judgment as your attention moves over your body.

3.     Focus on a relaxed part of your body – find a place in your body, a place that feels secure, relaxed, at peace, and pain-free.  Rest for a time in this relaxed part of your body. Allow the sensation of peace and calm to spread through your body.

4.     Focus on your pain – focus on the part of your body where you are experiencing discomfort. Feel the sensation and notice any negative thinking you have developed around the pain and say cancel, cancel. Repeat an affirmation like, “I love my body, or you love the body part that is uncomfortable.”

5.     Now gently bring your attention to the relaxed part of your body – experience the comfort and restfulness here.

6.     Continue to take mindful breaths and gently go back to the uncomfortable part of your body.

7.     Go back to the comfortable part of your body.

8.     After a time of mindful breathing and going back and forth between the comfortable and uncomfortable parts of your body, resume your daily activity.

Tim Desmond

This is a Mindfulness practice developed by Tim Desmond, L.M.F.T. Its purpose is to learn how to be aware of body sensations that are uncomfortable, without judgment and without trying to change them. Often you will find what you focus on does change and especially if you listen to what your body is attempting to tell you. When we listen to our bodies, they do not have to scream at us with pain for long. You can use this practice when you are experiencing discomfort. You will also notice that in time you will become more aware of your body’s messages and begin to take better care of it. 

Take a minute now to experience something in your body. It can be hunger, tiredness, something that is too tight like a shoe or clothing, pain someplace, or tension in your body in your neck, shoulders, or back. It could be your stomach feeling too full, too empty, or upset. 

With your eyes open or closed, connect with the sensation in your body; put all your attention on the sensation.

• Allow it to be just as it is. Do not try to fix it, change it, deny it, or judge it.
• Notice what happens when you put your full attention on that sensation. 
• What we put our attention on changes. 
• There is no right or wrong change. Just notice the change.

Try to ask the sensation:

• How are you attempting to help? 
• What do you need me to hear?
• What do you need?
• What is your job?

Non-judgmental awareness and learning to listen to your body will bring a whole-body sense of wellbeing. 

• Can you show compassion and empathy for the sensation? 
• Can you show compassion and empathy to your body?

The purpose of both practices is to change your relationship with uncomfortable body sensations. Pain is a part of life. It does not have to rule our life. Suffering is not inevitable, we do it to ourselves by allowing our mind to tell stories of negativity. Again, awareness gives us the power to know when we are holding on to pain through negative thinking and how to let go. When we set the intention to listen and connect with all our body, we are rewiring and re-training our body’s response to discomfort. We learn to manage pain so as not to suffer.